"Office Pranks" joke

1. Using the conferencing feature of your office phone, dial one individual, then while it's ringing dial another and conference them together. Put your own phone on mute and listen to see how long they'll make small talk before figuring out that neither one placed the call.

2. Microsoft Word has an AutoCorrect spelling function in its latest version. This function automatically corrects spelling mistakes as you type. The wonderful part of it is that you can add words to the AutoCorrect dictionary... including words that do not exist. If your co-worker leaves his computer unsecured, you're home free. For example, you could set it up so that the boss's first name, Bob, is AutoCorrected to Boob whenever the Individual types it. Or set paradigm to AutoCorrect to "puredumb." If you're good, you can get your co-worker disciplined for sexual harassment plus any number of diversity-related violations.

3. Get a greeting card that plays an insidious tune. Wrap the musical chip in cotton and tape it in on top of a ceiling tile in the victim's office. Make it quiet enough that the victim only hears it when it's especially silent. Act like he's crazy when he asks you if you hear music.

4. Put an official-looking sign over the control pad of your office fax or copy machine that says it is now voice activated. The sign should direct the users to say their full name in a loud, crisp voice (for tracking purposes of course) followed by the desired commands, e. g., "This is Bruce Individual, give me ten copies, no staple."

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