Favor Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got on the train, he went straight to the ticket-man and said, "Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get off this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and I'm sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is to wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business deal there and it is very important for me. Here are 100 francs for the favor."
He continued by saying, "But I warn you, sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent; but no matter what I do or say you got to get me off this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?"
So the ticket-man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later the man fell asleep... and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt!
He was so mad at the ticket-man that he ran over and started yelling: "Are you STUPID or something? I paid you 100 francs to wake me up and get me off at Mannheim. And you didn't! I want my money more...

Recently, President Clinton and Boris Yeltsin had a conference on
the spread of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases in
their countries. Yeltsin asked Clinton how he and his
administration are attempting to stop the spread of AIDS.
"We promote abstinence in the United States," Clinton told him.
"That would never work in the USSR," Yeltsin replied. "People are
going to have sex, and the government can`t do or say anything
to stop that. I want to promote the use of condoms in my
country. The problem is, we don`t have any good condom companies
in Russia."
"Well, in the US we have many condom companies, and one of the
best is Trojan," Clinton told him. "Let me give the president of
the company a call. I`ll ask him to send some condoms to you, so
you can distribute them in your country. How many do you want?"
"We`d probably need about 5 million or so to more...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

1689 - Spanish-German explorer Santa Claus discovers the North Pole, and establishes a small base camp.

1691 - Because of harsh and meager living conditions, Claus' crew abandons him. 1692 - Claus is rescued by the Viking ship Hvorfor. He returns to Europe, bringing some items along with him from the North Pole. He finds he is able to sell them quite easily, making a small profit. 1703 - Claus saves up enough money to buy a small ship and crew, and returns to the North Pole. Upon arriving, he finds his base camp, half-buried but still intact. 1704 - Claus returns to Europe with a shipload of North Pole artifacts, and is successful in selling them. He makes enough profit to increase his crew, and buys building materials to expand his polar base.

1705 - Claus returns again to the North Pole, and builds quarters for him and his crew, and sets up the Polar Exports Company.

1716 - After six shiploads of exports, the European market is flooded with polar more...

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?" So the ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later as the man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man that he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man. "Are you stupid or something??? I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn't, so I want my money back!" While the man was more...

There was a duckling that was crying near a lake, so an owl flew down to see what was the matter with it. "Why are you crying, duckling," the owl asked.
"My parents walked into the middle of the road and got ran over by a truck, so I don't know who or what I am", said the duckling.
"Well, you're a duckling sitting by a lake, so you must be supposed to swim," said the owl. The duckling was amazed at the wisdom of the old owl, and asked how he could ever repay him. The owl told him to simply repay the same kindness to another creature someday.
Thrilled with his new-found sense of self, the duckling went to the lake to go for a swim, determined to someday repay the favor to another animal.
He arrived at the other side of the pond and saw a crying skunk. "Why are you crying?", asked the duckling.
"My parents walked in the middle of the road and got ran over by a truck, so I don't know who or what I am," said the baby more...