Equipment Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself, "Is this guy blind or what?" "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I will charge you with rape," snaps the irate woman. "I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff. "Yes, that's true. .. but more...

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat out herself. She rowed out a short distance, anchored, and returned to reading her book. Along came the sheriff in his boat. He pulled up alongside her and said, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replied... as she thought to herself, "isn't it obvious?"
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her.
"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?", she said.
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." replied the sheriff.
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," replied the irate woman.
"But I more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
Players on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club into the hole and keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft, course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. Experienced players will normally lake time to admire the entire course, playing special attention to well formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one
club and two balls.
Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep the balls out.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid
damage to the hole.
Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until
the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result
in being denied permission to play again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately
upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire
the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and
bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have
played or are currently playing more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. (Normally
one club and two balls)
Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and
keep balls out of the hole.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club
to avoid damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to make as many strokes as necessary
until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete.
Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the
course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take
time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well
formed bunkers.
Players are cautioned not to mention more...

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one club and two balls.
Play on the course must be approved by the Owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor Golf, the object is to get the club in the hole, and keep the balls out of the hole.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course Owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before and during play.
Course Owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to ake as many strokes as necessary until the course Owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing th hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admi re the entire course, with special attention to the well-formed bunkers.
Palyers are cautioned *not* to mention other courses they have more...

An official staff visit by LTG Claus is expected at this post on 25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all Army personnel during the visit.
Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes warrant officers and mice. Soldiers may obtain special stirring permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion S-1. Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post Plans and Policy Office.
All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas, Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will be drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember, this is the "season of giving."
Personnel will utilize standard more...