Enjoy Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings. 3. Join our frequent near-miss program. 4. On flights, every section is a smoking section. 5. Ask about our out-of-court settlements. 6. Our staff has had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin. 7. Are our jet engines too noisy? Don't worry. We'll turn them off. 8. Complimentary champagne during free-fall. 9. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you. 10. The kids will love our inflatable slides.11. If you think it's so easy, get your own plane! 12. Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes? 13. Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose. 14. BadAir: We may be landing on your street. 15. BadAir: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us. 16. Bring a bathing suit. 17. Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as possible for the best view. 18. That guy who crashed into the White House was one of our best more...
Do you enjoy websurfing? No way! my mum warned me to stay away from the net!
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? 4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in. . . what happens to the other penny? 8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? 10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? 12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 14. Why isn't the number 11 more...
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make more...
1. BadAir: When you just can’t wait for the world to come to you.
2. BadAir: We’re Amtrak with wings.
3. Join our frequent near-miss program.
4. On flights, every section is a smoking section.
5. Ask about our out-of-court settlements.
6. Our staff has had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin.
7. Are our jet engines too noisy? Don’t worry. We’ll turn them off.
8. Complimentary champagne during free-fall.
9. Enjoy the in-flight movie in the plane next to you.
10. The kids will love our inflatable slides.
11. If you think it’s so easy, get your own plane!
12. Which will fall faster, our stock price or our planes?
13. Our pilots are all terminally ill and have nothing to lose.
14. BadAir: We may be landing on your street.
15. BadAir: Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.
16. Bring a bathing suit.
17. Some airlines are content to fly thousands of feet over landmarks. We try to get as close as more...
SEMINARS FOR WOMEN In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff, the male staff has created a set of courses for females of all marital status. The following courses will be offered: General Education: GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic") GE103: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One GE104: How to Parallel Park GE105: Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity GE106: Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps GE107: Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera Home Economics: HE101a: Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Premature HE101b: Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear Out Prematurely HE101c: Over-Dusting - Why Furniture Wears Out Prematurely HE101d: Over-Washing - Why Dishes Wear Out Prematurely HE102: How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How to Cut Credit Cards in Half") HE103: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" more...
NASA had sent many shuttles to orbit the earth and attempted to include passengers of all races, colour and creed.
One day, they realised they hadn't invited anyone from the clergy so they invited a priest and a rabbi to orbit the earth.
Upon their return, they were asked to go straight to the Media room to give the world their impressions of the experience.
The priest came into the room with a smile on his face. His statement was full of joy. He said, "It was totally amazing. I saw the sun rise and set. I saw the beautiful oceans. I'm truly in awe."
But the rabbi came into the room completely dishevelled. His beard was tangled, his kippot was askew and his tallis was creased. The reporters asked him whether he enjoyed the experience.
He threw his hands in the air and said, "Enjoy? Oy vay, you must be joking. How could I find time to enjoy? Every few minutes the sun was rising and setting! So it was on with the tefillin, off with the tefillin, more...