Enjoy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
Don't say you understand when you don't.
Girls are petty; get over it.
You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.
Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
If you talk about having a big dick; we know you don't.
Size does matter.
We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we like it when you are Mr. Big.
A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.
No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.
It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.
If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.
Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.
We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.
We are drama queens.
Fashion police do exist.
Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.
We more...
There was a rich man who was deliberately hard on his farmhand. He gave him a bottle and said, "Buy me a bottle of wine." The farmhand asked, "How can I buy you wine with no money at all?" The rich man said, "Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money." After a while the farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to the rich man and said, "Enjoy the wine, please." Staring at the empty bottle, the rich man asked, "There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?" The farmhand said, "Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine When there is none." Choking, the rich man was unable to utter a word.
General Education:
GE101:
Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges
GE102:
How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
GE103:
Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity
GE104:
Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera
Driver's Education:
DE101:
Getting Past Automatic Transmission
DE102:
The Meaning of Blinking Red Lights
DE103:
Approximating a Constant Speed
DE104:
Makeup and Driving-It's As Simple As Oil and Water
DE105:
How to Parallel Park
DE106:
Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps
Economics:
EC101:
Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic")
EC102:
How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How to Cut
Credit Cards in Half")
EC103:
How to Earn Your Own Money
Home Economics:
HE101a:
Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Prematurely
HE101b:
Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear more...
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and questioned the clerk. "I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive", she said.
"Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00. Would you like to see it?"
"$50.00? For a Frog??" asked the woman.
The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It gives blow jobs." Well, the woman did not particularly enjoy giving head, so, she thought this was a heck of a deal. She'd get her husband a gift he'd surely enjoy, and she'd never have to do that again. The woman decided to buy the frog.
She took it home to her husband and explained the strange gift. Of course, the husband was a bit skeptical, but said for sure he'd try it out that night.
The woman went to bed that night relieved knowing she'd never have to give another blow more...
Why does an actor enjoy his work so much?
Because it's all play.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?