Earl Jokes / Recent Jokes
Contributed by Steve Kufer, who attended the event.
Here are highlights from Comedy Celebration Day on July 31, 1988 in
San Francisco. For those who plan WAY in advance, next year's
Comedy Celebration Day is Sunday, July 30th (1989!).
These are some of the comedians more memorable quotes during the day:
Michael McShane
I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent
them two hammers and a toilet seat.
I'm a Psychic Amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.
Sue Murphy
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that's how dogs spend their lives.
My mother wants grandchildren, so I said, "Mom, go for it!"
Fred Reiss
I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours.
Great song.
Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.
Jake Johansen
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket.
"You know a cow was more...
There once were two best friends named Bob and Earl. They were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives revolved around baseball. Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they examined every box score during the season. They went to over 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching a Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died a happy man.
A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob''s voice from beyond.
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed, "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell more...
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob, Is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, more...
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond."Bob, Is that you?" Earl asked."Of course it me," Bob replied."This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?""Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?""Tell me the good news first.""Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Earl.""Oh, that is wonderful! So what could more...
Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy. A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob’s voice from beyond.
“Bob, Is that you? ” Earl asked.
“Of course it me, ” Bob replied.
“This is unbelievable! ” Earl exclaimed. “So tell me, is there baseball in heaven? ”
“Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first? ”
“Tell me the good news first. ”
“Well, the good news is that yes there is baseball in heaven, Earl. ”
“Oh, that is more...
THE abuse can be an art if it is spontaneous, cool and hits the mark fairly and squarely.
A lot of abuse has been traded between leaders of political parties and their traducers. Some of it is spontaneous but always angry and way off the mark.
, ^ Among some juicy insults is an exchange between the notorious John Wilkes and the Earl of Sandwich. Once Wilkes taunted the Earl,' I predict, Sir, that you will die by hanging or from some loathsome disease.'
Replied the Earl of Sandwich, "That depends, my dear Sir, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.'
Now, that is foul-mouthing with panache!
Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they poured over every box score during the season. They went to sixty games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching a Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy.
A few nights later, his buddy, Earl, awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked.
"Of course it me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the more...