Label Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Kit Carson Museum

    Hot 1 year ago

    My favorite museum when I was growing up, the one that influenced me the most, was the Kit Carson Museum.
    It was really impressive because right away when you walked in what you saw was this case with two human skulls in it, dramatically presented.
    One skull was larger and had a label stating "The Skull of Kit Carson." That was really something.
    Then, to the side, there was this smaller skull with a label that said "The Skull of Kit Carson as a Boy"...

    The patch thing is going way to far....smoking patches, lose weight patches,
    now this....
    Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of
    bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a
    poll-ice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
    Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin'
    these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the
    bottles under the seat".
    "What fer?", asked Bubba.
    "Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.
    Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and
    each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the
    sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
    "No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch".

    1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
    2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
    3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."
    4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
    5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
    6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el papa), the more...

    Catch a drunk driver

    Hot 2 years ago

    Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
    The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
    "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
    "What fer?", asked Bubba.
    "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
    Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
    When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
    "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."

    Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
    Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label - he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.
    Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a single serving of pork brains has 1,170 percent of our recommended daily cholesterol intake. All the more...

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