Ducks Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
Three friends died and went to heaven. The first friend, Sarah, was the first one to go into the pearly gates and meet "God".
"Hello Sarah, it is so nice to see you here" God said to her. "Please make yourself at home and do whatever you want. Slide down the rainbows, sleep on the clouds, just have fun. BUT DON'T Step on the ducks" God said. "We love and cherish ducks here".
So, Sarah goes on her merry way and enjoys herself. Until OPPS! She steps on a duck. Suddenly the ugliest, most hideous man pops up and Sarah realized she must spend the rest of her life with him.
Next, Olivia goes into the pearly gates and God tells her the same thing. "Do whatever you want, just DON'T step on the ducks". So, Olivia goes on her way and OPPS! She steps on a duck. And she, too has to spend the rest of her life with a ugly, hideous man.
The last friend, Jenn, goes to meet and God and he tells her the same thing. "DON'T STEP on more...
Three friends died and went to heaven. The first friend, Sarah, was the first one to go into the pearly gates and meet "God"."Hello Sarah, it is so nice to see you here" God said to her. "Please make yourself at home and do whatever you want. Slide down the rainbows, sleep on the clouds, just have fun. BUT DON'T Step on the ducks" God said. "We love and cherish ducks here".So, Sarah goes on her merry way and enjoys herself. Until OPPS! She steps on a duck. Suddenly the ugliest, most hideous man pops up and Sarah realized she must spend the rest of her life with him.Next, Olivia goes into the pearly gates and God tells her the same thing. "Do whatever you want, just DON'T step on the ducks". So, Olivia goes on her way and OPPS! She steps on a duck. And she, too has to spend the rest of her life with a ugly, hideous man.The last friend, Jenn, goes to meet and God and he tells her the same thing. "DON'T STEP on the more...
A man walks into a bar and sits down. He notices a foot-tall piano player playing up a storm.
Man: Hey, this guy's really good! Where'd you get him?
Barkeep: Oh, I have a magic lamp that gives me anything I want.
Man: Can I try?
Barkeep: Sure just rub it and say what you want.
Man (rubbing the lamp): I wish for ten thousand bucks.
* Ten thousand ducks appear *
Man: What the hell happened? I asked for 10,000 BUCKS, not DUCKS!
Barkeep: Think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?
There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hotsummer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a bigbundle of wire." Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where ya goin' with that wire?" "Well," the kid drawls, "this here ain't just any ol' wire, this here'schicken wire -- I'm fixin' to catch me some chickens!""You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!""Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back atthe end of the day and sure enough, he's got a whole mess of chickenscaught in his chicken wire. Well, the farmer's sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kidcomes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape. "Hey kid!" the farmer yells. "Where ya goin' with that tape?" "Well, thishere ain't just any ol' tape, this here's duck tape -- I'm fixin' to catchme some ducks!""You can't catch ducks with duck tape!" the farmer more...
A farmer is sitting on the front porch of his house one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid! ” the farmer says, “where ya goin’ with that wire? ” “Well, ” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s chicken wire. I’m fixin’ to catch me some chickens! ”“You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire! ” says the farmer. “Sure I can! ” the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back at the end of the day and sure enough, he’s got a whole mess of chickens caught in his chicken wire. Well, the farmer’s sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kid comes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape. “Hey kid! ” the farmer yells, “where ya goin’ with that tape? ” “Well, this here ain’t just any ol’ tape, ” says the kid, “this here’s duck tape. I’m fixin’ to catch me some ducks! ” “You can’t catch ducks with duck tape! ” more...
What happens when ducks fly upside down? They quack up!