Disease Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Ed zachary disease

    Hot 6 years ago

    A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.
    She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.
    Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang. So she went to see him.
    Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."
    The woman did as she was told.
    "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room." Again,
    The woman did as she was instructed.
    Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So
    she did..
    Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You
    haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."
    Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"
    Dr. Chang sighed deeply, and more...

    Chronic disease!

    Hot 7 years ago

    An army Major visiting the sick army men, went to one soldier and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic syphilis, Sir."
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's your ambition?"
    "To get back to the front, Sir."
    "Good man," said the Major.
    He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic piles, Sir."
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's your ambition?"
    "To get back to the front, Sir."
    "Good man," barked the Major.
    He moved to the next bed where Santa was lying and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"
    "Chronic gum disease, Sir"
    "What treatment are you getting?"
    "Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
    "What's more...

    A 80 year old women, whom was suffering from the later stages of Parkinson's disease, came into a sex shop, the poor old women was shaking furiously as she tried to walk with her walker. She walked to the counter and asked the young man working there "Do you sell sexual aids?" stunned the young man replied "Well, why yes we do". The old lady followed asking him "Do you sell the Turbo Vibrator 2000?" still astonished, thinking to himself what the hell does this old lady want with a vibrator and humored at how the old lady could barely talk, she was shaking so badly, the man answered "Why of course we do!"
    The women without hesitation quickly asked "Please sir, do you know how to turn the thing off!"

    Alzheimer's Disease

    Hot 4 years ago

    Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
    A: Her IQ goes up!

    Modem Addiction

    Hot 7 months ago

    "Did you know that last month's (expletive) phone bill is over $450?" my wife scolded me in her harshest, my-husband-the-child voice. "That's more than twice the monthly payment you make for that (expletive)computer!" she continued as she escalated to screaming.
    "I confess! I confess!" I sobbed. "I'm just an on-line junkie. I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll just have to join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to the phone company. "As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming a such calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line addiction named, more...

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