Course Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Frenchmen is calmly having his breakfast when an American (noisily chewing gum) sits beside him.
The Frenchman ignores the American who (not happy about this) starts a conversation.
American: "Do you eat the whole bread?"
French (in a bad mood): "Of course!"
American: "We don't. We only eat what is inside and the outside we put together in a container, recycle it, transform it into croissants and sell it to France."
The French listens in silence.
The American insists: "Do you eat the bread with jam?"
French (now more annoyed): "Of course!"
American: "We don't. We eat fresh fruit for our breakfast, put all the seed and the rest in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to France."
The Frenchman then asks: "And what do you do with condoms once you used them?"
American: "We throw them away, of course!"
French: "We don't. We put more...

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen."Allow me to demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It

THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT USAGE OF OBSCENE LANGUAGE IN A SEXUAL
CONTEXT. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE BELOW THE ACCEPTABLE AGE OF 18 YEARS. THE
AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY VIOLATION OR IGNORANCE OF THIS WARNING.

There was once a posh gentleman who went to this luxurious, and highly
pompous restaurant for a lavish dinner. He called a waiter, asked for the
menu card, and then ordered a French soup a la' creme. Moments later, the
waiter returned with the soup with his index finger poked inside the
soup-bowl. Seeing this disgusting sight, the gentleman was dismayed, but
with regard to his gentlemanly manner, remained quiet. He then ordered for
apetizers, and the main course.
During each of his courses, he noticed that the waiter was always poking his
thumb into the dish. This time, the man was utterly annoyed, but still
stayed calm, forcing his urging desire to punch the waiter, to regress.
After enjoying more...

Asian guy is having his "SNACK" ( bread and jam) when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Asian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. American: "You Asian folks eat the whole bread??" Asian (in a bad mood): "Of course." American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them
into croissants and export them to Asia." The American has a smirk on his face. The Asia listens in silence. The American persists: "D'ya eat jelly with the bread??" Asian: "Of Course." American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and export them to Asia. " The Asian ( pissed of) then asks: "Do you have sex more...

There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister more...

Since history was recorded, male human beings have built whole cultures around the idea that penis-envy is "natural" to women -though having such an unprotected organ might be said to make men more vulnerable, and the power to give birth makes womb-envy at least logical. In short, logic has nothing to do with it. What would happen, for instance, if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not? The answer is clear - menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event:
Men would brag about how long and how much.
Boys would mark the onset of menses, that longed-for proof of manhood, with religious ritual and stag parties.
The US Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea to help stamp out monthly discomforts.
Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammed Ali's Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock more...

Marty and Jane were driving home after an expensive - yet bland -
dinner. Since Marty's minor heart attack 15 years ago, Jane had kept
her hubby on a strict, low sodium, low fat, low cholesterol diet,
depriving him of all the foods he loved.
As Marty turned the corner at a busy intersection, another car slammed
into theirs, killing Marty and Jane instantly.
St. Peter greeted the couple at the Pearly Gates and took them on a
tour of Heaven. Their first stop was a luxury mansion, "Your new
home," St. Peter told them.
Looking at the expensive marble floors, Marty asked, "How much is this
going to cost us?"
"Nothing," St. Peter replied. "Everything is free in Heaven."
Next, they visited their new championship-style golf course.
"This is your private golf course," St. Peter said. "It changes daily,
representing the greatest golf courses on Earth."
"What are the green more...