"Gentleman and the Waiter" joke

Hot 5 years ago

THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT USAGE OF OBSCENE LANGUAGE IN A SEXUAL
CONTEXT. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE BELOW THE ACCEPTABLE AGE OF 18 YEARS. THE
AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY VIOLATION OR IGNORANCE OF THIS WARNING.

There was once a posh gentleman who went to this luxurious, and highly
pompous restaurant for a lavish dinner. He called a waiter, asked for the
menu card, and then ordered a French soup a la' creme. Moments later, the
waiter returned with the soup with his index finger poked inside the
soup-bowl. Seeing this disgusting sight, the gentleman was dismayed, but
with regard to his gentlemanly manner, remained quiet. He then ordered for
apetizers, and the main course.
During each of his courses, he noticed that the waiter was always poking his
thumb into the dish. This time, the man was utterly annoyed, but still
stayed calm, forcing his urging desire to punch the waiter, to regress.
After enjoying his meal, he ordered an ice cream for dessert. Minutes later,
the nimble waiter returned with a bowl of ice-cream, but this time he had
his hand behind, instead of in the ice-cream cup as would be expected. This
time, the man became curious, and decided to confront the waiter. He asked,
"Hey, you, why did you put your finger into my soup, apetizer, and main
course, and had it ditched behind you, when you were bringing the ice cream?"
The waiter, feeling thoroughly ashamed, confided in his customer, and confessed,
"Oh, sorry sir. I have a severe case of Arthritis in my finger. Poking it
into a hot environment usually brings a soothing feeling. That's why I had
it in your warm meals. Cold, makes my pain exacerbate. That's why I had it
away when I brought you the ice cream."
The man became enraged. He violently shouted at the waiter.
"YOU BUNGLING IDIOT! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M A POSH MAN. I DON'T LIKE
PEASENTS LIKE YOU POKING YOUR DISEASED FINGER IN MY FOOD! IF YOU WANT SO
MUCH WARMTH WHY DON'T YOU POKE YOUR BLOODY FINGER DOWN YOUR STINKING ARSE???!"
The waiter, looked around quite calmly, and whispered to the customer,
"Yes sir, that's exactly what I do when I'm in the kitchen".

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