Commented Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Southern belles, one of whom was from Texas, were seated on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion talking. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband had this beautiful mansion built for me."
"That's nice," commented the lady from Texas.
"When my second child was born," the first woman continued, "he bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
"Then, when my third child was born," boasted the first woman, "he bought me this very exquisite diamond and emerald bracelet."
Once more, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
"What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" asked the first woman.
"My husband sent me to charm school," answered the lady from Texas.
"Charm school!" exclaimed more...

Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean.

The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented: I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious.

The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door said: I graduated from the University of Wyoming and they taught us not to pee on our hands.

A young doctor was attached to a senior to gain practical insight into practice. The fresher told the senior that the seniors were not abreast with the latest trend in medical science. The senior advised the young doctor to be observant on the visits. In the first visit, the patient was a young man. After the preliminary examination, the doctor advised the young man to give up smoking. When they were outside the young doctor questioned on what basis he tendered that advise, the senior replied there were cigarette butts, ashes strewn all over the room.
The second patient was a young lady. The senior after completing preliminaries directed her to stop eating sweets and chocolates. Again when questioned, the senior commented he saw chocolate and sweet wrappers strewn in the room. Upon the third visit, the senior surprised the younger doctor requesting him to examine the patient, a young lady. Through sheer nervousness the young doctor dropped the stethoscope. After the preliminaries more...

An accountant, a lawyer, and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands… clear up to his elbows… he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, “I graduated from the University of Michigan, and they taught us to be clean. ”
The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, “I graduated from the University of Colorado, and they taught us to be environmentally conscious. ”
The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, “I graduated from the University of Nebraska, and they taught us not to piss on our hands. ”

Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood were conversing on the porch swing of a large white pillared mansion. The first woman said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."

The second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice."

The first woman continued "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."

Again, the second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice."

The first woman boasted "Then, when my thirdchild was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice."

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

The second woman replied "My husband sent me to charm school."

Charm more...