"That's Nice" joke
Two Southern belles, one of whom was from Texas, were seated on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion talking. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband had this beautiful mansion built for me."
"That's nice," commented the lady from Texas.
"When my second child was born," the first woman continued, "he bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
"Then, when my third child was born," boasted the first woman, "he bought me this very exquisite diamond and emerald bracelet."
Once more, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
"What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" asked the first woman.
"My husband sent me to charm school," answered the lady from Texas.
"Charm school!" exclaimed the first woman. "Land sakes, child, what on earth for?"
"So that instead of saying 'who gives a shit', I learned to say 'That's nice!'" replied the lady from Texas.
OK, You're a woman, walking home alone. You suddenly notice you are being followed by a black man. What steps would you take?
Fucking long ones!
A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a
pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the
woman to the lover, "into the Closet!" more...
An Attorney was riding home in his limo and noticed two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass, he told his driver to stop and investigate.
His driver went to the two men and asked, sirs why are you eating grass? The first man replied, I have no money and must more...
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do.