"That's Nice" joke

Two Southern belles, one of whom was from Texas, were seated on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion talking. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband had this beautiful mansion built for me."
"That's nice," commented the lady from Texas.
"When my second child was born," the first woman continued, "he bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
Again, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
"Then, when my third child was born," boasted the first woman, "he bought me this very exquisite diamond and emerald bracelet."
Once more, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
"What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" asked the first woman.
"My husband sent me to charm school," answered the lady from Texas.
"Charm school!" exclaimed the first woman. "Land sakes, child, what on earth for?"
"So that instead of saying 'who gives a shit', I learned to say 'That's nice!'" replied the lady from Texas.

A little koala bear wanders into a whorehouse. He climbs the stairs and finds a door open. He goes in to the room to find a naked prostitute asleep on the bed. He quickly climbs into the bed and begins performing oral sex on the prostitute.
She wakes up and decides that more...

2 guys are sitting at a bar after a hard days work and start talking about their wives.
1st guy: "You know what, my wife is an angel."
2nd guy: "Gee, you sure are lucky, my wife is still alive!"

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need... = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

All the boys and girls in Mrs. Dovers class are drawing. Mrs. Dover came over to Tommy and said, "What picture are you drawing?"
Tommy said, "A cow eating grass."
"Ok, where's the grass?"
"The cow ate it all."
"Ok, more...

The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.
"Nothing much, Pastor," replied one boy. "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life."
"Boys, boys, more...

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Funny Joke? 16 vote(s). 75% are positive. 0 comment(s).