Coders Jokes

Every Coder in Codeville liked objects a lot.
"Tested," "Reusable,' that's what was hot.
But the Grinch of Reality sulked in his cave,
Saying, "Hear them all talk of the time that they'll save!"

The Grinch hated Coders, and liked them to sweat.
He thought, "I can make them unhappy, I'll bet!"
He read through 12 texts, then looked up with a grin:
"Why, this is as good as original sin!"

He read with a chortle, "An object or class,
Is like a black box hiding all that it has.
Its details invisible: All that you know
Is what should go in and what answers will show."

He slunk to the West Coast and into a lab,
Where chip engineers were at work at their fab.
He heard their boss saying, "Forget testing tricks:
This one is the same as a 486!"

His chance had now come. From their math microcode,
He struck out one line as it more...

Real Programmers don't eat quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke and palate scorching Szechwan food.
Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and harder to modify.
Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for simpletons who can't read listings or the object code from the dump.
Real Programmers scorn Floating Point Arithmetic. The decimal point was invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to "think big."
Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working order in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.
Real Programmers don't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is the hallmark of the novice and the coward.
Real Programmers don't write application programs. They program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for the dullards who can't do systems programming.
Real Programmers more...

"Coders do it with a routine." - Otto Chrons
"Coders do it with bugs." - Trixter
"Trackers do it with rhythm." - Floss
"Trackers like to slide up & down." - Charlatan

Real Programmers don't eat quiche. They like Twinkies, Coke and palate scorching Szechwan food.
Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and harder to modify.
Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for simpletons who can't read listings or the object code from the dump.
Real Programmers scorn Floating Point Arithmetic. The decimal point was invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to "think big."
Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working order in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.
Real Programmers don't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is the hallmark of the novice and the coward.
Real Programmers don't write application programs. They program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for the dullards who can't do systems programming.
Real Programmers more...