Buses Jokes / Recent Jokes

Japan meters

Japanese tourist arrived in New Delhi. While travelling a taxi, he happened
to observe that everything in India moved at a slower pace compared to his own
country. Unable to contain himself, he said to the taxi driver, "Your taxis
are slow, Japanese taxis go very fast. Look at your buses, They ply at snail's
pace. In Japan buses run like hell. Look at speed of your Motor cycles, Japan
motor cycles seem to talk to air". At the end of Journey, the taxi fare
amounted to Rs 100/-.
What! exclaimed the furious Japanese. "Your meter runs too fast".
"Yes, Why not? ", said the taxi driver. "It's after all made in Japan, Sir! ".

The following item was extracted from the travel section of a UK daily newspaper: Travelling in India is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable - and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.
Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on an ancient text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English.
ARTICLE I
The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II
The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, Jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.
ARTICLE III
All wheeled vehicles more...

In the good ol' U.S. of A., buses will have a sign saying
"Don't speak to the driver."
In Germany, the sign reads: "It is strictly forbidden for passengers to
speak to the driver."
In England: "You are graciously requested to refrain from speaking to
the driver."
In Scotland: "What have you got to gain by speaking to the driver?"
And in Italy: "Don't answer the driver."
Byron Rakitzis, Banana-in-Residence, Princeton University.

Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.

Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English:
ARTICLE I:

The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II:

Indian traffic, like Indian society, is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to:
Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.
ARTICLE more...

Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike? No, they're stopping to let the passengers off.

Do buses and trains run on time? Usually, yes. No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.

Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous. Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English: ARTICLE I: The assumption of immortality is required of all road users. ARTICLE II: Indian traffic, like Indian society, is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians. ARTICLE III: All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance more...