Brooks Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.February 1, 1993Raleigh, N.C., police charged Vernon Edsel Brooks, 34, with robbing a Radio Shack in July, despite his foresight in disabling a video surveillance camera by taking the camera with him as he fled.Because he forgot to take the recorder to which the camera was connected, police found a tape containing a full facial shot of Brooks reaching for the camera.

Recently, there was a public television special honoring writer Larry Gelbart, whose credits include the TV show "M*A*S*H*", the movies "Tootsie" and "Oh, God," and the Broadway revival of "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum."
At one point, Carl Reiner was seated between Gelbart and Mel Brooks, talking about the days when they all worked for Sid Ceasar.
One great moment went something like this:
Carl Reiner: (pointing at Larry Gelbart) I'm sitting between the wittiest and (pointing at Mel Brooks) funniest people that I know.
(With perfect timing, Mel Brooks does a spit-take and sprays a mouthful of water at the audience.)
Host: Can you tell us what the difference is between witty and funny?
Larry Gelbart: (without missing a beat) Witty is dry.

This IT support pilot fish gets a trouble ticket for a user's CD-ROM drive that isn't working correctly.
But it's been a long week with too many dumb users, and fish is more than a little jaundiced. "Heck, I don't even know exactly what the problem is, but my first thought is that the customer isn't able to listen to her audio CDs," he says.
"I drift off in thought and begin making my assumptions," fish admits. "There must be a real user out there whose PC is blue-screened... and then there's this flaky user who's whining that she can't listen to her Garth Brooks CDs. Hardly a priority!... These machines are business tools, not entertainment devices.... We never intended that people would be playing music CDs on our machines...
"I realize I'm causing my own pain with these thoughts," says fish. Besides, it might be a real problem, he figures - at one point, the company received a batch of PCs with defective CD drives that require a patch more...

Submitted by Jim Porter

Are you a wealthy and successful suit-and-tie yuppie businessman who has always had a secret dream that you would one day become a redneck? Have you always wanted to be a Bubba, but didn? t know how? Well, now you can!

Just follow these instructions. Purchase the following: one pair of overalls, one pack of chewing tobacco and six cases of beer. That? s all you will need to start!

Caution: These instructions MUST be followed in your BUSINESS OFFICE.

1) You are a dignified, well-groomed yuppie executive; therefore, as you read this, it is assumed you are wearing a pair of well-polished $800 Brooks Brothers black dress shoes and silk socks, a $2, 000 pinstriped Armani business suit tailored for you, a $150 silk necktie with matching pocket square and suspenders, a starched white shirt, monogrammed cufflinks, silver tiepin and a Rolex as you read this. FIRST, untie and remove fancy shoes. Peel off socks. DO THIS NOW! Be more...

Are you a wealthy and successful suit-and-tie yuppie businessman who has always had a secret dream that you would one day become a redneck?
Have you always wanted to be a Bubba, but didn't know how?
Is there an inner Cletus inside just hollering to get out?
Well, now you CAN be a redneck!
You will only have to purchase the following: one pair of overalls, one pack of chewing tobacco and six cases of beer. That's all you will need to start!
Caution: These instructions MUST be followed in your BUSINESS OFFICE.
1) You are a dignified, well-groomed yuppie executive with an important professional job; therefore, as you read this, it is assumed you are wearing a pair of well-polished $800 Brooks Brothers black dress shoes and silk socks, a $2,000 pinstriped Armani business suit tailored for you, a $150 silk necktie with matching pocket square and suspenders, a starched white shirt, monogrammed cufflinks, silver tiepin and a Rolex.
FIRST, untie and remove more...

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"Harry: "9".Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"Harry: "36".And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can more...

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed
to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The more...