Barbecue Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Why don't Mexicans barbecue?
    Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
    Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
    Rule #1:
    When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
    No one knows why.
    Rule #2:
    If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
    Again, no one knows why.
    Rule #3:
    If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars.
    No one knows why.
    Rule #4:
    Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he more...

    From: Mickey Hennigan, Human Resources Director
    To: Everyone
    Date: December 1
    Re: Christmas Party
    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
    From: Mickey Hennigan, Human Resources Director
    To: Everyone
    Date: December 2
    Re: Christmas Party
    In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?
    From: Mickey Hennigan, Human Resources Director
    To: more...

    Q: Why can't Chinese Barbecue? A: Because the rice falls through the grill

    Rules for Buying Gifts for Men
    Rule #1:
    When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
    Rule #2:
    If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
    ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
    Rule #3:
    If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
    Rule #4:
    Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
    Rule #5:
    You can more...

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