Bama Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Billy Bob and his family moved from Alabama to Maine to so his Paw could find better work picking potatoes. The next day Billy Bob started his first day of kindergarten. When he got home he rushed to tell his Paw, "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to ree-cite the alpherbet today en Ah wuz the onliest one that could!"
    His Paw replied "That`s cuz you`s from Bama, son!"
    The next day he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to count as high as we could en Ah counted the highest!"
    His Paw replied, "That`s cuz you`s from Bama, son!"
    The next day, he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, today, when we wuz all in a line, Ah noticed Ah wuz the biggest of all! Ah bet that`s cuz Ah`m from Bama, huh Paw?"
    His Paw replied, "No son, that`s cuz yer 17 years old."

    Two boys are playing football in a vacant lot when one of the boys is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the first little boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog`s collar, and twists, breaking the dog`s neck and killing him instantly.
    A reporter, who happens to be strolling nearby, sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. "That was the most incredible act of bravery I`ve ever seen!" the reporter exclaims. He whips out his notebook and furiously scribbles the headline: "Young Bama Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal!"
    The little hero sees this and says, "But sir, I`m not a Bama Fan, I`m an Auburn Fan!"
    The reporter looks warily at the boy for a moment, then flips the page and begins a new headline: "Little Redneck Kills Beloved Family Pet"

    A Bama alum, a Tennesse alum and an Auburn alum have been captured by Iraqi forces and are about to be executed by firing squad.
    First, the Bama alum is blindfolded and placed in front of the firing squad. The Iraqi officer said, "Ready, aim...."
    The Bama alum yells "Sandstorm!" and all the Iraqis hit the dirt and the Bama alum runs away.
    The Tennesse guy was placed in front of the firing squad. The officer said "Ready, aim.....";
    The Tennesseean shouted " Tornado!!!!". All the Iraqis again hit the dirt while the Volunteer escaped.
    The auburn guy thought this was great. When he was blindfolded, again the officer shouted "Ready, aim...."
    The Aubie shouted "FIRE!"

    A Tennessee graduate and a Bama graduate decided to rob a bank together. The Bama man plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the UT guy extensively.

    The robbery begins. The Bama man drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the Vol, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"

    "Perfectly," said the Vol.

    The Vol goes in the bank while the Bama man waits in the getaway car.

    One minute passes. . . Two minutes pass. . . Seven minutes pass and the Bama guy is really stressing out.

    Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes the Vol. He's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time he gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are more...

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