Graduate Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Poetry Finals

    Hot 3 years ago

    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.

    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."

    The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:

    Slowly across the desert sand

    Trekked the dusty caravan.

    Men on camels, two by two

    Destination--Timbuktu.

    The audience went wild! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that? The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:

    Tim and me, a-huntin' went.

    Met three whores in a more...

    Poetry Contest Finals

    Hot 3 years ago

    The National Poetry Contest was down to two finalists, a Harvard graduate and a redneck.
    The contest rules allowed each of them a maximum of two minutes to compose a four line poem containing the word Timbuktu.
    The Harvard graduate was the first to recite his:
    "Slowly across the desert sand
    Trekked the dusty caravan.
    Men on camels, two by two
    Destination - Timbuktu."
    The crowd went wild. It didn't seem possible that the redneck would be able to top that. Finally, with a few seconds left, the redneck jumped up and was ready to recite his poem:
    "Me and Tim a huntin' went,
    Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
    They was three and we was two,
    I bucked one and Timbuktu."

    Totally Useless Info

    Hot 7 years ago

    1. Coca-cola was originally green.
    2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.
    3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever.
    4. Dumbest dog: Afghan
    5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
    6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
    7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2
    8. Amount American Airlines saved in '87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000
    9. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
    10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
    11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4
    12. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/12
    13. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
    14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
    15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%
    16. Barbie's measurements if she more...

    Uconn grad

    Hot 7 years agoby grad

    A little boy and his mother were walking in a cemetery when they came
    upon a headstone that read “Here lies an UConn graduate and an honest man.”
    The little boy asked, “Mommy, why did they bury 2 people in there?”

    Redneck Poetry

    Hot 1 week ago

    The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M.
    The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu".
    The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
    Slowly across the desert sand Trekked the dusty caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destination-Timbuktu.
    The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
    Tim and me, a-huntin' went. Met three whores in a pop-up tent. They was three, we was two, So I bucked one and Timbuktu.

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