Cuz Jokes

'Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood, Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good.
The tube socks was hung on the window sill and we all had smiles up on our grill.
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib in the back bedroom, cuz that's how we live.
And Moms in her do-rag and me with my nine, had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine.

All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by, Bumpin' phat beats cuz the system's fly.
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'' Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's ass!
well anyway....

I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this! She said, Stop frontin' & just mind yo' bidness.
I said, for real doe, come check dis out.

We weren't even buggin', no worries, no doubt. Cuz bumpin' an thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh.

Da beats was kickin', da ride was phat I said, "Yo red Dawg, you all that!"
He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz, more...

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse.

'Cuz the cat had pounced on him
and tore him apart-
Ate his mousey intestines
And chewed up his heart.

Kitty thought he heard sleigh bells,
which made him take pause-
He stopped daintily licking
the blood from his claws.

"Must be Santathought Kitty
(that quite clever cat)
'Cuz nobody else climbs down
the chimney like that.

Indeed it was ol' Santa,
so jolly and fat
With a load of presents
and all for the cat!

"Wow, the best Christmas ever!
Kitty thought with a purr,
Then he coughed up a hairball
and shed some more fur.

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse.
' Cuz the cat had pounced on him
and tore him apart-
Ate his mousey intestines
And chewed up his heart.
Kitty thought he heard sleighbells,
which made him take pause-
He stopped daintily licking
the blood from his claws.
"Must be Santa" thought Kitty
(that quite clever cat)
' Cuz nobody else climbs down
the chimney like that.
Indeed it was ol' Santa,
so jolly and fat
With a load of presents
and all for the cat!
"Wow, the best Christmas ever!"
Kitty thought with a purr,
Then he coughed up a hairball
and shed some more fur.
(Thanks to IrisMist)

Billy Bob and his family moved from Alabama to Maine to so his Paw could find better work picking potatoes. The next day Billy Bob started his first day of kindergarten. When he got home he rushed to tell his Paw, "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to ree-cite the alpherbet today en Ah wuz the onliest one that could!"
His Paw replied "That`s cuz you`s from Bama, son!"
The next day he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to count as high as we could en Ah counted the highest!"
His Paw replied, "That`s cuz you`s from Bama, son!"
The next day, he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, today, when we wuz all in a line, Ah noticed Ah wuz the biggest of all! Ah bet that`s cuz Ah`m from Bama, huh Paw?"
His Paw replied, "No son, that`s cuz yer 17 years old."

If an Asian girl was really Asian, she... be wearing platforms be wearing flares has one of those fake-ass voices on the phone carries a big-ass purse carries hella pictures of her homies in the purse knows everybody in town thinks she knows about cars, but really don't always be fiending for "pho" lies about her age when y'all first meet thinks she knows how to drive talks hella fast on your voice mail has a 800 or 888 number shares a 800 or 888 with her homies carries a pager for the time has money but is hella cheap when it comes to paying has taken studio pictures more than 7 times a month wears a(n) Nautica, Tommy, Polo, Nike, or Adidas jacket wears those fake-ass leather jackets is seen every week at the mall wear tight see-through shirts never goes anywhere without at least her homie or her cousin seems to be cousins with all the females in town drives hella crazy... cuz she can't reach the pedal all the way thinks she's fat... when she's like a little toothpick likes more...