Alley Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a
bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home? The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.

While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township
Road?" The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 123 Township Road. Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time"
The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?" The farmer said: "Holy more...

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

Why is boxing a sport? If I beat someone up in an alley and someone sees it, I get arrested. If I beat someone up in an arena where thousands see it happen, I get cheered. I've done both. I like the alley better though.

Kirstie Alley was identified as the alleged killer in a crime spree in Florida. The remaining four suspects in the line up were allowed to return to their tanks in SeaWorld.

In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse. They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading. The other one politely asks, "When youve finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?"

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My son, you shouldn't be doing that", said the priest. "You should be saving that for when you get married."

The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply said "Yes, Father."

About 10 years later the priest was in his study when a young man, in his early twenties came in.

"Yes, my son?" said the priest.

"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago you caught me masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget the advice you gave then."

"And what was that, my son?"

"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I should be saving it for when I get married", said the young man.

"That sounds like something I probably would have said" said the priest. "Did you take my more...

Things to do at a Bowling Alley

Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.

When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.

Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.

Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.

Wear Golf Shoes.

Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.

Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.

Play bocci with extra lane balls

Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again

Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.

Bring full angling gear, ask how they're more...