Airliner Jokes

An airliner was having engine trouble and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to
have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except for one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”

On an airliner, an old grandpa was accompanied by his grandchildren...
The latter were making a lot of noise, disturbing some of the other passengers...
Finally, the grandpa said (absent-mindedly): "Now children, stop foolin' around here... Go outside and play!"

The world's first fully computerised airliner was ready for its
maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the
loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the
steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane
and took their seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the
airplane taxied toward the runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman," a voice intoned as the
airplane lifted off. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first
fully computerised airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run
electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go
wrong........ nothing can go wrong...... nothing can go
wrong......"

The world`s first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.
The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a computer voice intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world`s first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructedthe cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats andget prepared for an emergency landing.A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants ifeveryone was buckled in and ready."All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except onelawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."