Adams Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common? A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.

Boston Beer Co. unveiled a special glass today so customers can savor its Samuel Adams brand beer. It is called a beer bottle.

Douglas Adams:' There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.'

Albert Einstein:' Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.'

Unknown:' Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.'

Edward P. Tryon:' In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.'

Max Frisch:' Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.'

Kilgore Trout:' The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.'

Woody Allen:' I'm astounded by more...

By Terry Jones (of Monty Python)
February 20, 2002
Times Observer

To prevent terrorism by dropping bombs on Iraq is such an obvious idea that I can't think why no one has thought of it before. It's so simple. If only the UK had done something similar in Northern Ireland, we wouldn't be in the mess we are in today. The moment the IRA blew up the Horseguards' bandstand, the Government should have declared its own War on Terrorism. It should have immediately demanded that the Irish government hand over Gerry Adams. If they refused to do so - or quibbled about needing proof of his guilt - we could have told them that this was no time for prevarication and that they must hand over not only Adams but all IRA terrorists in the Republic. If they tried to stall by claiming that it was hard to tell who were IRA terrorists and who weren't, because they don't go around wearing identity badges, we would have been free to send in the bombers.

It is well known that more...

In the Garden of Eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes,
In this garden are two little leaves,
One covers Adams,
And one covers Eves.
Nevertheless to say,
The wind came along and blew those leaves away,
At The sight Adam did stare,
As Eves treasure was all covered in hair,
Wonder came under Eves eyes,
As Adams thing started to rise.
They found a spot that suited them best,
A big ol tree,
Where they began to rest,
Wider and farther her legs did spread,
As thrill after thrill,
Came into her head.
The head of Adams thing,
Peaked into her hole,
And filled her with passion,
Beyond her control,
The joy was good,
She wouldnt let loose,
Till Adams thing was all out of juice.
Now down through the years,
People have screwed,
And now its time for me and you,
So pull down your pants,
And lay in grass,
Cuz Im in the mood for a piece of that ass.