Adams Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common? A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.

    In the Garden of Eden,
    As everyone knows,
    Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes,
    In this garden are two little leaves,
    One covers Adams,
    And one covers Eves.
    Nevertheless to say,
    The wind came along and blew those leaves away,
    At The sight Adam did stare,
    As Eves treasure was all covered in hair,
    Wonder came under Eves eyes,
    As Adams thing started to rise.
    They found a spot that suited them best,
    A big ol tree,
    Where they began to rest,
    Wider and farther her legs did spread,
    As thrill after thrill,
    Came into her head.
    The head of Adams thing,
    Peaked into her hole,
    And filled her with passion,
    Beyond her control,
    The joy was good,
    She wouldnt let loose,
    Till Adams thing was all out of juice.
    Now down through the years,
    People have screwed,
    And now its time for me and you,
    So pull down your pants,
    And lay in grass,
    Cuz Im in the mood for a piece of that ass.

    Boston Beer Co. unveiled a special glass today so customers can savor its Samuel Adams brand beer. It is called a beer bottle.

    San Francisco, CA - Gary Adams, 43, gay, finally realized his lifelong dream to own and operate a gay bar in the heart of the gay district of San Francisco known as the Castro. Never in his worst nightmares would he have imagined how difficult it would be to stay afloat in the dog-eat-dog world of gay bar ownership.

    "I opened The Closet for business in June 2006, just in time for the gay pride parade. Guys swarmed the place and we literally cleaned up. I was all'Hey boys! Come on in and enjoy!'. And enjoy they did."

    Adams had a steady stream of business for a few months, but soon realized he never saw the same faces returning.

    "It was always new faces coming in, but never coming back. A guy will come here and drink, flirt, have fun, whatevers, but then once he comes out of The Closet, that's it. There's no return. It's just so damned frustrating."

    Adams says he's thinking about shutting down The Closet and sub-letting the space more...

    Douglas Adams:' There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.'

    Albert Einstein:' Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.'

    Unknown:' Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.'

    Edward P. Tryon:' In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time.'

    Max Frisch:' Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.'

    Kilgore Trout:' The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.'

    Woody Allen:' I'm astounded by more...

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