"Two-bit Whore" joke

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A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "What in the world happened to you, buddy?"
The guy says "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore."
"Yeah," says the bartender. "What did she do?"
"She hit me with her bag of quarters!"

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.

'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab more...

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse more...

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

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So Very True:all lesbians are filthy diseased infested pigs, and they are polluting this world.
Funny Joke? 23 vote(s). 74% are positive. 1 comment(s).