"The tree" joke
There once was a girl who loved goin up over the hills of her grandma's house. One day she was exploring and found a tree. This was no ordinary tree. It was a muffin tree. She loved muffins. She always came up to that tree and ate its muffins. But one day, she got tired. "
Why do you only grow blueberry muffins, muffin tree. Please make another muffin,"
she said. Now we all know that trees don't talk but that doesn't mean that they don't listen. The next day, there was a green, radioactive muffin on the tree. The girl tasted it. It was the best muffin she had ever had. But in three minutes, she fell over, dead.
The moral of the story is this... Never talk to muffin trees.
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!