"Surprise One Evening," joke
One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of breath little Johnny who shouts out, "Uncle John! Come quick! The bull is fucking the cow!" Uncle John, highly embarrassed, takes young little Johnny aside and explains that a certain decorum is required. "You should have said,' The bull is surprising the cow'- not some filth you picked up in the City," he says. A few days later, little Johnny comes again as his uncle and aunt are entertaining. "Uncle John! The bull is surprising the cows!" The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle John says, "Thank you little Johnny, but surely you meant to say the cow, not COWS. A bull cannot' surprise' more than one cow at a time you know." "Yes he can!" replies his obstinate nephew, "He's fucking the horse!"
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."