"Little Johnny's Christmas Gift" joke
Little Johnny had a terrible cussing problem and his father had had enough of it. Not knowing what to do, he decided to seek the advice of a psychiatrist.
The doctor suggested that, since Christmas was fast approaching, he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If Johnny cussed, then he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift.
A couple of days before Christmas, Johnny's father asked him what he wanted Santa to bring. Johnny said, "I want a damn teddy-bear laying right fuckin' here beside me when I wake up Christmas morning."
"Then, when I go downstairs," Johnny continued, "I want to see a motherfuckin' train going around the damn tree. When I go outside, I want to see a red-assed fuckin' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
When Little Johnny woke up on Christmas morning, he rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he went downstairs and found a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage.
When he walked back inside the house with a curious look on his face, his father smiled and asked, "So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"
"I think I got a fuckin' dog, but I can't find the son-of-a-bitch!" replied Johnny.
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