"Little Johhny's Letter To Santa" joke
Little Johnny's mother was cleaning one weekend and found this letter that
he had sent to Santa the previous year, when they were living in California:
You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well,
I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the
beginning of the month. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair
of roller blades and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the
whole year, not only was I the first in my class but I had the best grades in
the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there were no kid in the
neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers,
my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the
elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for
What balls you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a lame ass whistle and a pair
of socks! What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, that you'd
taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like
this under the damn tree.
As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little shithead across the
street so many fucking toys, that he can't even walk into his damn house!
Please don't let me see you trying to fit your huge ass down my chimney next
year! I'll fuck you up! I'll throw rocks at those corny ass reindeers of
yours and scare them the fuck away, so you'll have to walk your big fat ass
back to the north pole, just like I have to do since you didn't get me that
fucking bike, you punk bastard!! You know what Santa, Fuck You!! Next year
you'll find out how bad I can really fucking be!
So watch your back next year, Beeyaaaaatch!!!!
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