"I've got it worse" joke
A tomato, a piece of chewing gum, and a penis are all talking.
The tomato says "I've got the poorer live, I get chop up and stuck in a sandwhich".
The piece of chewing gum says "No, mine's poorer, I get chewed up, spit out and stepped on".
The penis says "No, by far I've gor the poorer life... I get a plastic case fixed over my head, then I'm shoved in a dark tunnel and prepared to do push ups' till I throw up!"
Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.
A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:
The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do more...