"Funniest Out of Office Messages" joke

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn`t have received anything at all.

Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged Rs 300/- for the first ten words and Rs 100/- for each additional word in your message.

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. ( I love this.. The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

Hi. I`m thinking about what you`ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

Hi! I`m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don`t bother to leave me any messages.

I`ve run away to join a different circus.

AND FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE…

I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as `Rita` instead of `Ramesh`.