"Contemplating Cats" joke

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Anonymous"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." --Jeff Valdez"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." --English proverb"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." --Ellen Perry Berkeley"One cat just leads to another." --Ernest Hemingway"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." --Joseph Wood Krutch"People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." --Anonymous"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." --Hippolyte Taine"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." --Albert Schweitzer"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." --Ernest Menaul"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." --Anonymous"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --Colette"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." --Colonial American proverb"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." --Joseph Wood Krutch"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." --Anonymous"My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes." --Anonymous"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." --Anonymous

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