Yacht Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A guy walks into a bar and sees a man sitting at the end with the smallest head he's ever seen. In fact, it is only about two inches high.
    So, he sits down next to him and asks, "How is that you have such a small head?"
    The man replies, "Well you see, I was stranded on a deserted island and was combing the beach, when I came across an ornate bottle. When I opened it to see what was inside, a beautiful genie appeared and told me that I would be granted three wishes. My first wish was for a luxurious boat to take me home."
    The man continues, "A large yacht appeared just off shore. Then for my second wish, I asked to be wealthy, so I would want for nothing when I got home."
    The man goes on, "After a large pile of gold coins appeared on the deck of the yacht, I asked to make passionate love to the genie for my third wish. The genie told me that she could not do that, so I asked, 'How about a little head?'"

    A man and his dog are shipwrecked on a desert island. After exploring the island, he discovers that the only other inhabitants on the island are a flock of sheep. After many months he realizes how difficult life is without having a woman by his side. He momentarily considers pleasuring himself with a sheep, but the horror of the thought soon draws him back to his senses.A few months later, he can take it no more, and starts to stalk a particularly comely sheep. As he is about to do the dastardly deed, however, his dog grabs him by the leg and prevents him from going ahead. After some initial anger, he thanks the dog for keeping him on the straight and narrow.This pattern continues for some years, when the man is not so much thankful for the hound's intervention, as downright irritated. Try as he might to sneak off to the sheep whenever the canine isn't looking, his faithful friend always hunts him down whenever he approaches the woolly flock.Then one day, fate intervenes, and the man more...

    A yacht was in distress so a life boat was called out to rescue it. The Coast Guard Captain, attempting to determine the yacht's location, radioed to the owner. "What is your position, I repeat, what is your position?"
    The skipper of the yacht replied, "Well sir, I'm Marketing Supervisor of a large computer software company."

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Yacht!
    Yacht who?
    Yacht a know me by know!

    One day, Josh went over to Ben's to have a look at the small yacht he was selling. Ben had it on dry land because it had a small gash in its keel. But other then that, what a fine yacht it was....a mahogany deck, the latest in navigational gears, including a state of the art fish-finder. Ben wanted just $5,000 for it and assured Josh he would even have the keel repaired himself.
    Well, Josh needed time to think it over so off he went fishing. He took his small aluminum boat out into the bay and it wasn't 5 minutes later, when he got his first bite. He pulled his line in and found he had caught a nice-sized cod. As he was taking the hook out, the fish spoke to him:
    Fish: "Please release me, let me go. I am the last of my species and if you put me back in the water, I will grant you a wish."
    Josh thought for a second and then said, "I wish this here small boat of mine, was a small yacht just like Ben's."
    The following day, Josh was found clinging to a more...

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