Wrinkles Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
    You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    The world is your urinal.
    Hot wax never comes near your private areas.
    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
    Same work... more pay.
    Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
    Wrinkles add character.
    You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
    If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    Your pals can be trusted more...

    It's great to be a bloke because:
    Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
    Your orgasms are real. Always.
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
    Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    Wrinkles add character.
    A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you tarnished.
    You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
    Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
    Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice more...

    A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa."Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl."Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa."Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"

    A woman wanted to have a facelift, so she went to see the doctor. "Yes, I can do it, but you'll have to return in a few months for a follow-up," the doctor says.
    "I would much rather have it done all at once. I don't want to have to back," she tells him.
    Thinking for a few minutes, the doctor tells her, "We do have a new procedure. We put a screw in the top of your head, then any time you happen to see wrinkles reappearing, you turn the screw and it pulls the skin up causing the wrinkles to disappear."
    "Perfect," she says, "that's what I'd like to have."
    A few months later the woman bursts into the doctor's office. "How's the procedure holding up?" he asks her. "Horrible!" she shouts. "It's the biggest mistake I've ever made."
    "What do you mean? What's wrong?" asks the doctor. "What's wrong? Take a look at these bags under my eyes," she screams.
    "Ma'am, more...

    Darn, it's good to be a man.
    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can be president.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood, ALL the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about cars and trucks.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    If someone forgets to invite you to more...

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