Winning Jokes / Recent Jokes

Winning the Lottery by Jack Potts

With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday. The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact with another car or stationary object, will come standard in all of the company's 1997 cars. "Auto accidents have never been so exciting," said GM vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who expects the contest to boost 1997 sales significantly. "When you play the new GM Instant Win Airbag Game, your next fatal collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl XXXI in New Orleans. Or a year's worth of free Mobil gasoline." Though it does not officially begin until Jan. 1, 1997, the airbag promotion is already being tested in select cities, with feedback overwhelmingly positive. "As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I thought to myself,' Oh, boy, this could be it--I could be a big winner!'" said more...

You are such a dumb blonde that one day at lucnch you were stadind at the juice machine putting money in. And of course ever time you put money in a juice came out. The person behind you said "
excuse me but I think it's my turn. I must have been standing here for like 3 hours."
Well all you had to say to her was"
Shut up Im winning"
!

DETROIT--With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday.

The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact with another car or stationary object, will come standard in all of the company's cars next year.

"Auto accidents have never been so exciting," said GM vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who expects the contest to boost sales significantly. "When you play the new GM Instant Win Airbag Game, your next fatal collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl or a year's worth of free Mobil gasoline."

Though it does not officially begin until January, the airbag promotion is already being tested in select cities, with feedback overwhelmingly positive.

"As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I thought to myself,' Oh, boy, this could be it--I could be a big more...

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.

whats better then winning the gold medal at the special olympics
Not being retarded