Wendy Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle"

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The' spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily. (This is frightening).

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into more...

When a man asked his girlfriend to marry him, she said that he would first have to prove his love for her by having her name, Wendy, tattooed on his penis. He agreed, went to the tattoo parlor, and got the tattoo. When it was erect it said Wendy, and if it was limp it said Wy.
Soon afterwards they married and went to a nude beach in Jamaica for their honeymoon. When the husband went to a stand on the beach to get some drinks, he noticed that the man serving him also had Wy tattooed on his penis.
"What a coincidence," the husband said, "You must have a wife named Wendy too."
"Oh no," the waiter replied, "Mine says, Welcome to Jamaica man, have a nice day!"

There's this guy, Jack, who has a girlfriend, Wendy, who he loves a lot. To prove how much he loves her, he gets "Wendy" tattooed on his penis.
When it's erect, it says her name, and when deflated, it reads "Wy".
When she sees her name on his masculine member, she is overwhelmed.
Jack pops the question to her, she accepts and off they go to Jamaica on their honeymoon!
Once there, they try out all the local culture, including a nude beach. They are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing, and get something to drink at the beach bar.
He walks over to the bar with his deflated love muscle, trying not to let his eye wander and embarrass himself! He orders a drink from the guy at that bar who is also naked.
He is surprised to note that the bartender also has "Wy" tattooed on his penis! Jack says to the guy, "Wow, what a coincidence, your girlfriend is named "Wendy" and you have her name tattooed more...

The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for"Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something. The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring?" I brought a Walkman." "And what is it for?" "You can listen to music with it!""That's nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?" "I brought a' lectrical can opener, it opens cans!""Well done, Kenny. Umm, Johnny, I see you didn't bring anything!""Yes, I did. It's in the hall." So the entire class goes into the hallway." Umm, Johnny, what is that?" "It's a heart/lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going." "Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?" "He said,' AAAARRRGGGH!!!'"

Once, there was a teacher and a girl named Wendy.The teacher asked for Wendy to say a sentence starting with the word I. So wendy started to say I is....Then the teacher said, "No Wendy, it is I am." So Wendy said, "I am the ninth letter if the alphabet."

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy Who?
Wendy Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbing' Along... Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy wind blows de cradle will rock. Knock Knock
Who's there!
Wendy!
Wendy who?
Wendy go? I never saw him! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Wendy!
Wendy who?
Wendy come to take you away I won't stop them!

Great A Hot & Juicy Story Well, I was loafin' around the salad bar at the burger stand one chili day on Coney Island, when I Frito-Lay'd my eyes on the sweetest little tomato I'd ever seen. Let's just say I could tell she wasn't gonna be ice-cold or taste like some of those cheaper spreads I'd eaten. So I mustard up my courage and I whispered, "Hey, Mama Bird! You got a sweet set of sesame-seed buns, and I'd live to bury my open-face in your McMuffin snack pack. And maybe later I could drive-in my Jumbo Jack in your Box. So, what's your name, anyway?" "Wendy," she replied, and said that her buns were always hot and fresh. Well, it seemed like an invitation to me, so I unzipped my French-fly, pulled down my hash-browns and whipped out my Quarter-Pounder. She took one look at my foot-long Weinerschnitzel and said, "Holy enchirito, what a Whopper! I haven't seen a sausage and a pair of McNuggets like that since I was in the sack with Long John Silver over at the more...