Jamaica Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Jamaican tourist was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an Australian, chewing gum, sat next to him.
    The Jamaican politely ignored the Australian, who, never the less started up a conversation. The Australian snapped his gum and said, "You Jamaican folks eat the whole bread?"
    The Jamaican frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."
    The Australian blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In Australia, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect, recycle them, and transform them into croissants and sell them to Jamaica."
    The Australian had a smirk on his face. The Jamaican listened in silence. The Australian persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?" Sighing the Jamaican replied, "Of course." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Australian said, "We don't. In Australia, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers more...

    A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket.
    The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica".
    The stewardess gets the Head Stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she again responds "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica".
    The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot.
    The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section.
    The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".

    A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses doesn't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

    A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army.
    His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis...He agrees, and does so.
    When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y.
    The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man's penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica.
    One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him... The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican, "Wow, that's really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?"
    And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says...
    "Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"

    Poor Billy is dating a rich girl and has no idea what to give her for her birthday, (as she has everything) as he tells of his dilema to his friend, his friend suggests that he tatoo her name on his sex organ. Billy goes to a tattoo parlor and tells the man her name is Wendy.
    When finished he looks down and sees. . "W Y" and says "Hey I said her name was Wendy"
    Man says "Don't worry shake it."... He does, . . and voila!- Wendy.
    He ties a ribbon on it and presents it to his girl... she is so happy that she invites him on a Car.While in port at Jamaica in a disco he goes to the bathroom. While at the urinal a tall Jamaican stands next to him glances down sees "W Y" and says "W Y, huh?"Billy says oh! its my girlfriend's name, look (shakes it... Wendy)Jamaican says: "Ah good show man, Wendy, very nice."Billy looks at the Jamaican and notices his organ also says "W Y".Billy says: "Hey, wait a minute, more...

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