Visits Jokes / Recent Jokes

Case Report:
Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer's Syndrome
Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no. 1, December 1997
Author: Dr. Iman Elf, M. D.
On January 2, 1997, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, presented to my family practice office with complaints of generalized aches and pains, sore red eyes, depression, and general malaise. The patient's face was erythematic, and he was in mild respiratory distress, although his demeanor was jolly. He attributed these symptoms to being "not as young as I used to be, HO! HO! HO!", but thought he should have them checked out. The patient's occupation is delivering presents once a year, on December 25th, to many people worldwide. He flies in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer, and gains access to homes via chimneys. He has performed this work for as long as he can remember. Upon examination and more...

Saddam Hussain Visits God And Asks Him: " God When Shall I See The Defeat Of George Bush? " God Replies:" Son, You Will Not
See It In Your Lifetime. " Hearing This, Saddam Hussain Starts Crying And Goes Away. Gen Parvez Musharaff Visits God And Asks
Him: " God When Shall I See The Capture Of Kashmir By Pakistan?" God Replies: " Son, You Will Not See It In Your Lifetime."
Hearing This, Gen Parvez Musharaff Starts Crying And Goes Away. Laaloo Yadav Visits God And Asks Him:" God When Shall I See
Bihar Becoming A Prosperous And Happy State? " Hearing This, God Starts Crying. Laaloo Is Astounded And Asks: " God, Why Are
You Crying? " God Replies: " Son, I Will Not See It In My Lifetime"

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first."Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left."Patient: "OH NO! Thats awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???"Doctor: "You also have Alzheimers. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."

A man visits his psychiatrist and talks about being haunted by visions of his departed relatives. He says; these ghosts are perched on the tops of fence posts around my garden every night. They sit there and watch me and watch me. What can I do?
The psychiatrist says; that's easy ¦ just sharpen the tops of the posts.

John is in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.
While wandering around naked he sopts a gorgeous blonde and he immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies: "No!"
She says "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me."
She then layes him down and starts making love to him.
Later that day John visits the sauna, but as he sits down he farts. A huge big hairy guy get up, drops his towel to show a huge erection and says "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies, "No!"
The man says, "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The man then knocks John to the floor and has his way with him.
As soon as he's finished John rushes back to his room, grabs all his things and heads for the exit. On his way out he's stopped by the manager he askes "Can I more...

An elderly man visits his doctor."Doctor, I would like you to examine me to see if I am sexually fit.""Very well, let me see your sex organs, please."The aged patient replied o. k. "And stuck out his index finger and his tongue."

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first." Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left." Patient: "OH NO! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???" Doctor: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."