Thereby Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2. If disturbed, dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands," and claim an ecological exemption.

3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5, and leave it alone.

4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say more...

As Time Goes By - A Brief History Lesson...
3050 B.C. - A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic for all times.
525 B.C. - The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a moustache in the women's shot put.
214 B.C. - Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a generation to build the 1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't keep the neighbor's dog out.
1 B.C. - Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement over what to call next year.
432 - St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded history.
1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight to buy IBM or Xerox.
1456 - An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's more...

As Time Goes By - A Brief History Lesson...

3050 B. C. - A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic for all times.

525 B. C. - The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a moustache in the women's shot put.

214 B. C. - Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a generation to build the 1, 500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't keep the neighbor's dog out.

1 B. C. - Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement over what to call next year.

432 - St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded history.

1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight to buy IBM or more...

1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with
a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions
Carpet Fresh. 2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.
Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim
an ecological exemption. 3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter
against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of
5 and leave it alone. 4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from
the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points
out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim,
"What? And spoil the mood?" 5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread
magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng
Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes
when you more...

As Time Goes By - A Brief History Lesson...3050 B.C. - A Sumerian invents the wheel. Within the week, the idea is stolen and duplicated by other Sumerians, thereby establishing the business ethic for all times.525 B.C. - The first Olympics are held, and prove similar to the modern games, except that the Russians don't try to enter a six-footer with a moustache in the women's shot put.214 B.C. - Tens of thousands of Chinese labor for a generation to build the 1,500 mile long Great Wall of China. And after all that, it still doesn't keep the neighbor's dog out.1 B.C. - Calendar manufacturers find themselves in total disagreement over what to call next year.432 - St. Patrick introduces Christianity to Ireland, thereby giving the natives something interesting to fight about for the rest of their recorded history.1297- The world's first stock exchange opens, but no one has the foresight to buy IBM or Xerox.1456 - An English judge reviews Joan of Arc's case and cancels her death sentence. more...