Studying Jokes / Recent Jokes

Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
Udurawana: I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Udurawana: No he is not studying, they r Studying him.
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Udurawana: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.. ...
Interviewer shouts: Stop it.
Udurawana: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Udurawana: Doctor, In my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Udurawana: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
Udurawana: If I die will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Udurawana: No, I'll also stay with your sister
Udurawana: People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Udurawana: When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh more...

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.

Banta: What's he studying?"

Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds' legs and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.

The student looked at each of the birds' legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor's desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that the student threw his test on the professor's desk and walked to the door.

The professor more...

10) Broken masonry makes great drainage for potted plants.9) Get beaten up by people half your size and twice your age.8) Never run out of kindling wood again.7) No need to wonder what belt to wear.6) Get to be on first name basis with the Emergency Room staff.5) These uniforms make nice pajamas.4) Never need to wonder why it's hard to get up in the morning.3) Get to appreciate the finer points of Chuck Norris' acting.2) Learn to count to 10 in 3 different Asian languages. And the top reason for studying martial arts:
1) (Tie) Get to star in Ginsu commercials. / Three words: free nose job.

1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days? 2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh, what's he studying? 2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying him!

You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
Your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
Everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.
You consider more...

A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane asylum that is reknowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods. They begin by visiting some of the patients. The first patient they visit is a young woman. She is practicing ballet. One of the psychiatrist asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I'm studying ballet so when I get out of here I can possibly join a troupe and be a productive member of society." "Wow, that's wonderful." The next person was a man reading a book with a pile of books next to him. The same question asked to him, "What are you doing?" "I'm studying biology, chemistry, etc. So I can enter medical school when I get out" Room after room, they witnessed the incredible success and attitudes of the patients. Until they finally reached a room the asylums director was reluctant to open. Finally, he was persuaded to open it. Inside was a man balancing a peanut on his penis. The reaction of the psychiatrist, "My more...