Seal Jokes / Recent Jokes

The President of the United States has a Top Secret Mission of the utmost importance he needs done.
He's going over files from 3 different candidates and calls in the first one who is a Navy SEAL. On the Presidents desk is a 9mm pistol. The president says in the next room is your wife I want you to take the pistol and kill her. Navy SEAL takes the gun puts it back down on the desk and says sir I love my wife I'm sorry I cant do it and walks outs.
The President calls in the second candidate who is an Army Ranger. The president tells him that in the next room is his wife and that he want him to take the pistol and kill her. The Army Ranger gets up goes into the next room sees his wife and comes back out. He tells the President I cant do it I saw my wife and just couldnt do it cause I love her and he walks out.
Well the President calls in the last candidate who is a Marine Sniper. The President tells him that in the next room is his wife and that he wants him to take this more...

An Alaskan woman having car trouble pulls her Station Wagon into the local Exxon service station and has it looked over.
The Chillyland mechanic from under the hood says: "Ma'am it looks like you blew a seal."
The Alaskan woman replies wiping her face: "No, it's just Mayonaise."

An Alaskan woman having car trouble pulls her Station Wagon into the local Exxon service station and has it looked over.The Chillyland mechanic from under the hood says: "Ma'am it looks like you blew a seal."The Alaskan woman replies wiping her face: "No, it's just Mayonaise."

A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?" The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

There's a Marine, an Airforce Commando, a Navy Seal and a Green Beret sitting around a campfire telling each-other how mean and tough they are.
The Marine says - "I can swim 50 miles and bite the head off a live chicken. One Marine is worth 5 other men."
The Airforce Commando says - "I can clear runways one-handed and kill a man with my bare hands. One Airforce Commando is worth 10 other men."
The Navy Seal says - "Yeah? Well I can dive up to 90 feet without air, and I'm an expert in demolitions. One Navy Seal is worth 13 other men."
The Green Beret just sat there all this time saying nothing, stirring the fire with his dick.