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    Lipstick Problem

    Hot 1 year ago

    A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].
    Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together who wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2 pm.
    They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
    The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was to remove the waxy lipstick, and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean. The custodian then demonstrated...
    He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to more...

    What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the more...

    Mom's Brownie Recipe

    Hot 6 years ago

    Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
    Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
    Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Billy "no, no."
    Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
    Take shortening can away from Billy and clean cupboards.
    Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
    Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat.
    Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
    Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
    Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows
    for ventilation.
    Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
    Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
    Let cat out of refrigerator.
    Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
    Bake 25 minutes.
    Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids more...

    A friend of mine claims this happened to a friend of hers:
    She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, thought she, I
    have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I'll just
    take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it.
    Voila, one cheap wedding present.
    So she took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put
    the new one on. The silversmith took a look at the tray, shook his head, and
    said,
    "Lady, you can only do this so many times!"

    Corporate Lessons!

    Hot 3 years ago

    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
    After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
    The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
    Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."
    Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way.
    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go more...

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