Restroom Jokes / Recent Jokes

INTELLIGENCE IS A BYPRODUCT OF EVOLUTION Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft employee.
"Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.
They all board the train. The Microsoft employees take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Microsoft employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the Microsoft more...

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror.
If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never come back. So, the redhead goes into the restroom and stands in front of the mirror.
“I think that I am the most beautiful person in this bar. ” And the Redhead walks out with a brand new red car.
Then the Brunette goes into the restroom and says to the mirror, ” I think Im the smartest person in this bar. ” And she gets a million dollars.
Then the Blonde goes into the restroom and says to the mirror, ” I think…” POOF! She disappears.

A Rabbi walks into a bar to use the restroom. He walks up to the bartender,
and asks "Can I please use the restroom?" The place was hoppin' with music, and
dancin', till they saw the Rabbi. The bartender says, "I really don't think you
should."
The Rabbi again, asks, "Can I please use the restroom?" Well, the
bartender says to the Rabbi, "I really don't think you should, you see, there
is a statue of a beautiful naked lady, and she's only covered by a fig leaf!"
The Rabbi responded with, "Nonsense a man of my stature will not be bothered by
that statue!" Well, the bartender showed the Rabbi the door at the top of the
stairs.
The Rabbi proceeded to the restroom, and after a few minutes, he came
back out, and the whole place was hoppin' with music and dancin' again! He went
to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand, when I came in here, the
place was hoppin' with music more...

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train.
The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and more...

Real bathroom graffiti found all over the place. Wheefun. The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina. I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts. Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Unknown origin. To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona. At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona. It's more...

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket more...

INTELLIGENCE IS A BYPRODUCT OF EVOLUTION
Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft employee.
"Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.
They all board the train. The Microsoft employees take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Microsoft employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the Microsoft employees more...