Reputation Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many Princeton students does it take to screw in a lightblub?
A: Sigh. The Alumni pay people to do things like that for us.
Note: Princeton has a reputation for being wealthier than the other seven.
Q: How many Princeton students does it take to screw in a lightblub?
A: I don't know, let me call my maid.
Note: Princeton has a reputation for being wealthier than the other seven.
Q: How many Indiana University "notes" users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: All of them, since changing light bulbs is the only kind of job they can get after they graduate.
Note: Not meant to offend students at the Indiana University.
Q: How many Indiana University "notes" users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Have you ever wondered why it's so dark in Bloomington?
Q: How many Japanese industrialists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three--one to make sure the more...
Tiger Woods reportedly fears a sex tape he made with one of his mistresses could be leaked online. The golfer and his PR team are allegedly working to down play any rumors of a sex tape in an effort to minimize damage to his reputation and marriage to Elin Nordegren.
What Reputation???
Background: The Vice-President of the Philippines, Joseph Estrada ('Erap' for short), has a reputation for being...err... how shall I put it? Well... STUPID! Much like Dan Quayle's reputation, I believe. The bad part is 'Erap' was elected into office. Here's a sample Erap joke.
Vice-President Joseph 'Erap' Estrada was invited to speak before an annual gathering of the Philippine Olympic Committee. Having no speech prepared for the event, he asked his aide to prepare one for him. Without reading it beforehand, he goes to the podium with his speech in hand and addresses the audience:
"Good evening", he pauses for a while, staring at his speech with a bewildered face.
"Ooouu... uuuoooO... ahem... ahem... OwwoooOwowwooh... Ohh... Ohhh... oooouuooouooo...", he struggles at his speech as his aide rushes to his side on stage.
"I'm having trouble reading this part", Erap whispers to him.
His aide looks at the speech for a moment then whispers more...
A church congregation sent out requests to all the professional painters listed in their local Yellow Pages, requesting a bid on a price to repaint their church building. Almost all of the painters were within a few dollars of their competition, as expected, with the exception of one well-known, well-established, local company, which had been in business for years and had an excellent reputation in the community. This particular painter's bid was about half of what his competitions had bid, and naturally, was selected by the congregation to do the job.On the morning the job began, the painter realized that he had underbid the job by 50%! Not wanting to lose the job, he decided to thin the paint out with water, so he would be able to complete the job for the price quoted.One week later, he received a call from the priest, explaining that after the first rain, half of the paint had washed off the church. The painter returned, looked at the building, and sure enough, the job was ruined. more...
The Cork born Father O'Connor's reputation for castigating the Brits from
the pulpit was legendary. However, the congregation in his new parish of
Boston, Mass., tired of him lambasting the Brits for the horrors they
inflicted upon the Irish for generations. Ultimately, the Archbishop opted
to send the good father to a small hamlet in the far reaches of Tennessee
where, His Grace said, "The folks know nothing of England and care less. So
Knock off the Brit bashing and you'll better serve Holy Mother Church."Several weeks later, when Father O'Connor stood into the pulpit to deliver
his first sermon to his new congregation, the local Bishop, who knew of
O'Connor's reputation, was in attendance to check up-on him."My dear brethren," Father O'Connor began, "this morning I'd like to talk
about The Last Supper."Not bad, though the Bishop. Safe enough ground."Now, the lesson to be learned from The Last Supper, more...