Rented Jokes / Recent Jokes

here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented ahunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find anybirds they shoot. One year they didt go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemenwho used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting butthe farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didnt have areplacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he sawthem he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R. F. D. guys asked the farmer what theCorona boys did that could be so bad. Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fineuntil one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. We ll whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer saidthey renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit more...

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I`d give $250. 00 to spend the night with that woman."

Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I`ll take you up on that offer."

She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment.

The following morning the man presented her with $125. 00 as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating "If you don`t give me the other $125. 00, I`ll sue you for it."

He laughed, saying, "I`d like to see you get it on these grounds." Within a few days, he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a more...

Rented cars are the only true "all terrain vehicle".

Two men went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed out. Five days later they came back but without the camel. The man who had rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?" They replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say,' Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a look and the damn camel ran away!"

Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big' X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"

Joe and John were identical twins.

Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself.

One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it.

He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.

Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.

A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her."

"She was a rotten old thing from the beginning."

"Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish."

"She was always more...

A blonde decides to do something wild that she has never done before, so she goes out to rent her first x-rated adult video.
After looking around the video store for a while, she selects a title that sounds quite stimulating to her.
She rushes home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable and puts the tape into the VCR. Much to her disappointment, there's nothing on the tape but static, so she calls the video store to complain.
"I just rented a video from you," she grumbles, "and there's nothing on the tape but static."
"I'm sorry about that," the clerk replies. "We have had a problem with some of the tapes. Could you tell me which title you rented?"
"It's called 'Head Cleaner'!" replies the blonde.