Quote Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivateher class. She told them that she would read a quote and the firststudent to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest ofthe day off. She started with "This was England's finest hour." Little Suzyinstantly jumped up and said, "Winston Churchill." "Congratulations," said the teacher, "you may go home early." The teacher then said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but.." Before she could finish the quote, another young lady beltsout, "John F. Kennedy!""Very good," says the teacher, "you may go also." Irritated that he has missed two golden opportunities, Little Johnnysaid, "I wish those girls would just shut up." Upon overhearing this comment, the outraged teacher demanded to knowwho said it. Johnny instantly rose to his feet and said, "BillClinton. I'll see you Monday."

Old quote: Only rain can save indian team from other.....
New quote: Even rain can't save other teams from Indian cricket team...

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".

Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you."

A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves. A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired."

My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because it's unfamiliar territory.

My Boss said to me " What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.

My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.

I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too. .. but at least I respect him.

He's given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and more...

Examiner: I think you know very little, if anything at all, about the Bible. Can you quote any passage? Student: Judas departed and went and hanged himself. Examiner: Well, thats a surprise. Can you quote another? Student: Go thou and do likewise.

When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how homophobic Mr. Osama Bin Laden is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that words fail me in describing my pure distaste for Osama's sermons and brainless practices. In the text that follows, when I quote from Osama, I will use the word "excrement" in place of another word which is now apparently permitted in general circulation publications, and which I have edited out. Some will say I exaggerate, but, actually, I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that he says he's going to shower bloodthirsty traitors with undeserved praise quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "ultracentrifugation". Is he out of his mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that he dreams of a time when he'll be free to brand me as more...

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done". Quote from the Boss... "I didn`t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you." A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves. A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired." My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That`s because it`s unfamiliar territory. My Boss said to me " What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier. My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain. I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too. .. but at least I respect him. He`s given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE. Some people climb more...

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".
Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you."
A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves.
A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired."
My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because it's unfamiliar territory.
My Boss said to me " What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.
My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.
He's given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.
Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.
Quote from the Boss after overriding more...