A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some asshole's got my pen!"
Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawyers.Proctologist: the rare profession in which the M.D. starts out at the bottom and stays there.
A beautiful young woman came into a proctologist, complaining about her problem.
The proctologist listen carefully and then said "Ok, now please remove your trouser and underwear and bend over the bed. I'm going to inject you with an enema."
She does as he says, and he is injecting her with the enema when she says, "I'm sorry doctor, but I think that is not my ass."
The doctor replies, "I know, this is not an enema either!"
A one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye a couple of days before his proctological examination. It caused him concern, but since it didn't seem to cause any ill effects, he forgot about it.
Entering the proctologist's examining room, he did as instructed and undressed, then bent over. The first thing the doctor observed when he looked up the man's butt was the glass eye staring right back at him.
"You know, you really have to learn to trust me!" the doctor said to him.
Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases.One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers.The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked, "Where did those flowers come from?"The other proctologist answered very cooly, "How should I know. There wasn't any card!!"