Pokes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dale Earnhart, Mark Martin and Gordon are all on a fishing trip. After a few hours and no bites, Dale jumps into the shallow water unzips and waves his jiggly worm around. Pow! A huge bass hits it and he walks to the bank, pokes it in the eye to make it release from his manhood, and holds up a 55 pound Bass. Mark takes a look and jumps in the water and waves his peter around in the water. Bam, another Bass! He walks to the shore and pokes the fish in the eye and picks up a 70 pound Bass. A little while passes and Dale looks at Jeff and says, "Aren't you going to give it a try?" Jeff replies, "No, I don't want to get poked in the eye!"

There is girl in school called Mary and she keeps on falling asleep in class. The teacher asks her, "Who is our savior?" A boy behind her pokes her with a pencil. Then Mary yells, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher says, "Good." Then the teacher asks, "Who died on the cross." Then the boy again pokes her. Then Mary yells, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher says, "Good." The teacher asks, " What did Eve do after she had her 23 child." The boy pokes again. Then Mary yells, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'm going to brake it in half.

Wilma and her husband Barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep. The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!! Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!! and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells: IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!

There is a couple in church and the preacher starts asking questions, but, the guy starts to fall asleep so the lady pokes her husband with a needle whenever he falls asleep.
The preacher says: "who was the savior?" the man starts to fall asleep so the lady pokes him and he yells "JESUS CHRIST!?" so the preacher says "very good."
Later on as the man is sleeping again, the preacher asks "who brought us the 10 commandments" and when he gets poked he yells "HOLLY MOSES!?".
5 minutes later the preacher asks "what did eve say after adam and her had their 46 son?" and the man is sleeping again so when he gets stung he yells: "DAMN IT! IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!".

Wilma and her husband Barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it everytime he falls asleep.
The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!! Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!! and goes back to sleep. The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells: IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!

An Alien walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender and pokes him in the shoulder, all the while making a noise like ''Meeeeeeep''. The bartender looks at him and is really weirded out.
He turns around and the alien pokes him in the shoulder again and says ''Meeeeeeep'' The bartender is really pissed now and says to the Alien, ''Dude, next time you do that, Im gonna take you outside and rip your dick off!''
The alien obiously doesn't understand and pokes the bartender again and says ''Meeeeeeeep''. The bartender is so pissed, that he picks him up by the collar of his space suit and draggs him outside to the empty lot and jerks down the Aliens pants.
But, the Alien doesn't have human anatomy and has nothing there to rip off. The bartender is so surprised that he asks, ''Well, if you don't have a dick, how do you have sex?'' The alien just looks at him, pokes him in the shoulder and says ''Meeeeeeep''

Suzanne went to church on sunday.She went to bible shool.The teacher asks "Who made the heavens and the earth?"Ned comes around and pokes Suzanne in the back of the head."Oh my God", shouted Suzaanne.Thats correct said the teacher.
"Who died for our sins on the cross?"Old ned pokes her again, "Jesus christ", shouted suzanne.
What did Adam say to God when Adam was poking him with a stick? Ned pokes her again.If you keep poking me with that thing im gonna shove it up your ass.