Phoenix Jokes / Recent Jokes

The internet site was created to help homeless persons get back on their feet. The Web site also is a venue where visitors can donate money, services and goods to help. The first recipient is described as a heavily bearded man, poorly dressed, un-bathed, and reeking of alcohol. So far $2,578 dollars has been raised for Joaquin Phoenix

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building... I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turned to the other and said, "See, that's how it's done."

I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel.

I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me... I pushed "1" and he just stood there... I said, "Hi, where you going?" He said, "Phoenix." So I pushed Phoenix. A few seconds later the doors opened, two tumbleweeds blew in... We were in downtown Phoenix. I looked at him and said, "You know, you're the kind of guy I want to hang around with." We got into his car and drove out to his shack in the desert. Then the phone rang. He said, "You get it." I picked it up and said, "Hello?"... The other side said, "Is this more...

The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix.

The mayor could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop. The people of Phoenix couldn't walk on the sidewalks or drive on the roads. It was costing a fortune to try to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor proposition. "I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without cost
to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me five million dollars and ask one question."

The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free
proposition.

The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky. All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon. They gathered up behind the blue more...

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns more...

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We cant stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says "Were sick of each other, and Im sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell theyre getting divorced," she shouts, "Ill take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Dont do a single thing until I get there. Im calling my brother back, and well both be there tomorrow. Until then, dont do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wif e. "Okay," he says, "theyre more...

The University of Phoenix bought the naming rights to the Arizona Cardinals' new stadium. The move will honor the Cardinals’ long tradition of mediocrity. The stadium is just like a degree from the University of Phoenix - shiny on the outside, empty on the inside.

Marie living in Phoenix was looking for a decent woman to marry so he`s parents took him one Sunday looking for a bride.
The 1st woman he met was not suitable because of all the different prayers they undertook So they went to Tongaat, this woman, he did not like as well cos they kept too many fasts for the week.
Then they went to Stanger, they met this young lady who greeted them and offered them tea on arrival. She served them tea and biscuits, when Marie saw this he lit up and told his mother that this was the woman he wants to marry. His mom asked why so sudden and he replied