Okay Jokes / Recent Jokes

"now class say your abcs okay?"said mrs.jewls
little jimmy raises his hand
"yes jimmy?"asked mrs.jewls
"can i please go to the bathroom?"jimmy answered
" not untill u say your abcs"
"okay" said jimmy standing acwardly
" a-b-c-d-e-f-e-f-g-h-i-j-k-m-n-o...q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-z"jimmy finished as he dartedfor the door
" wait were is the p?"asked mrs.jewls
" running down my pants" jimmy nervously stated as a yellow puddle formed

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!" The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!" He returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but more...

Dog Rules...
1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

Once their was a guy named Bob. His friend Chuck had just had sex with a
fab hore from the hore house. He had so much FUN! Chuck had told Bob to get a
hore if he couldn't get a woman to have sex with. Chuck had told him if he went
to the hore house, to NOT get a lady named sandpaper sally. Since he couldn't
find a woman, he went to the hore house.
When he got there, he asked the man at the desk for a hore. The man replied,"
All we have is Sandpaper sally.." So Bob said," No that's okay. I'll come back
next week." Then Bob went home and then came back next week to look for a hore.
When he got there, he asked the same question," Can I have a hore please.?" The
man at the desk said the samethang,"All we have is sandpaper sally." So Bob
replied," No. that's okay. I'll come back next week."
When he went back the hore house the next week, the man had said they only
had sandpaper more...

"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
[Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware more...

One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there. He walked up to the farmer and said,"Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it." The farmer replied,"That's not a donkey, that's an ass." So, the man said,"Okay, then, I'll take the ass." Then he walked over to the chicken coup and said,"I like that chicken. I'll take it too." The farmer replied,"That is a pullet." So the man said,"Okay, I'll take the pullet." He was looking at a rooster and said,"Well, I guess I'll take the rooster, too." The farmer replied,"That's not a rooster, it's a cock." So they load the pullet and the cock into the back of the man's truck and tie the ass to the back. The man then pays the farmer as the farmer tells him,"Now, sometimes the ass gets a little stubborn and he stops. All you have to do is get out and scratch his back, and he'll go again." So the man more...

A man walks into a bar with his dog and goes up to the bartender and says, " I bet you $50 that my dog can talk!"

The bartender laughing at the man says, "Okay, you're on pal!"

So the man asks his dog, "What is on top of a house?" and the dog replies back "Woof" The man satisfied with the dog's answer says, "There my dog talked!"

The bartender then says " No he didn't he just barked! You owe me $50!" The man gives the bartender his $50 and storms out of the bar.

The next day, the man comes back with the same dog and says to the bartender, "Okay now I bet you $100 that my dog can talk!"

The bartender laughs at him again and says " Okay you're on!"

The man then asks his dog, " Who is the greatest baseball player ever?"

And the dog replies "Woof!"

The man shouts at the bartender "There my dog more...